The title really does speak for itself, today’s blog post has been inspired by something that I did.
I have spent what feels like a lifetime hating my body, hating food and hating the lack of control I have with my body. I am not as comfortable talking about my food issues and body issues compared to how comfortable I have got talking about my other mental health issues, like my anixety. It has been something that has kind of been a secret but not in a way, like I can’t hide my body issues as easily as I can my food issues.
I go up and down with my food and body isses, I have good months and bad. It is something I do want to get help with but it also something I am petrified about being attention too. This month I have hit another breaking point, and it was definitely been a build-up of things. I have become more controlling with my food which has resulted in me eating the same things every day as in my mind they are safe foods, weighing myself 3 times a day and freaking out internally over a buffet at work because it was right next to my desk. I know I need to face this more head on because I keep getting into this pattern so easily. I just want to be able to enjoy food and love my body. I can’t quite believe I am writing this and sharing this because I do try and hide this part of me.
I bought some new underwear recently to try to see if it would help with my body issues and it kind of did. My boyfriend was out tonight so I sat in my new underwear with a “non safe” food a small bowl of fries. I kept telling myself over and over this is my body and it is ok to eat things without feeling guilty, I am not going to say I am now cured of my issues by sitting in my underwear eating fries but, it definitely put a smile on my face and helped me realise, I got this shit.