It has been quite a positive weekend. I even went and got my eyebrows threaded, I did not only shock myself with that but my partner as well. As I am not a fan of people touching me, and for me to let a stranger be that close to me is a big step. It was definitely worth the pain of getting the hair ripped out of my face and the anxiety of wondering if she will ask me if I want my top lip doing as well!
I am really trying to work on myself and to be honest I think it has been a year of 2 steps forward and 1 step back. That’s ok though because at least I am trying. I think this year has definitely made me see my issues are deep and there is no quick fix to solve them because they won’t ever be solved. I think once you have you have suffered with mental health problems you are not cured of the issues, you just work on learning to deal with them better.
I think for years I was hoping there will be an end to this pain that lives deep inside of me, and the more I realised the pain was not disappearing, the more it grew.
Pain lives in our veins.
We all go through shit in life, some of us have past trauma, some of us have a mental illness, some of us have issues and some of us just don’t know how to deal with life. There is one thing that everyone in the world can relate to, that is pain. Pain is something that reminds us that life is not a fairytale, that things can not just hurt you physically but also mentally and can shape who you are as a person. Drawing this picture was my way of excepting that the pain will always be there, but it doesn’t always have to hurt.
I don’t believe pain can go away, I think it lives with us always. I think the key is, learning how to deal with that pain, so it doesn’t grow and spread and take over your entire life. Pain can be a motivation, it can help us understand how things affect us as a person. It can show us who we are and what we want in life.
Pain is more than a four-letter word and it can mean something different from one person to a next. Pain is a part of life, but it doesn’t have to be the only part.