I have just got back from a lovely couple of days away with my partner and some friends at the seaside. Some may say being stuck in a caravan with the rain pelting down a disaster of a time. With the right people though and the task of who could find the best jokes and let’s just say the jokes got more and more depraved as the time went on, it was far from a disaster, it was perfect. We don’t need everything to be perfect for it to be good, because imperfection is not a flaw, it’s just life.
I am dealing with a lot of anxiety at the moment because of imperfection. I am not perfect, my relationship is not perfect, my friendships aren’t perfect and so basically my fucking life is not perfect. I am struggling with the fact that I can’t control any of that and that’s a difficult thing to accept, especially for someone who is a bit of a control freak and has abandonment issues. I am just a girl standing in front of the world screaming accept me, instead of being the girl in front of a mirror saying love me.
There is so much pressure in the world at the moment and it can feel can feel like we can’t do right from wrong.
- Are we doing enough for the environment and this planet?
- Are we eating the right foods?
- Are we exercising enough?
- Are we looking like how social media tells us to look like?
- Are we moaning too much?
- Are we not moaning enough?
- Are we taking care of our mental health enough?
- Are we being too selfish?
Honestly, it is a fucking whirlwind and how the fuck are we not going to get anxiety from all of this. My life is a bit of a mess at the moment and I am sure a lot you lot feel that way too because we are being dictated from every direction on how we should be living our lives. We are a generation that works to live while having a lot of access to people who aren’t living that type of life, that in itself can really damage a person. How can we be happy with what we got when what we got is a struggle?
It is hard out there guys and I don’t have all the answers. What I am learning though and what I will say is that you may feel like your life is a mess or a struggle but be proud of that life. You may feel like your life is not perfect but it is yours, and yours alone and it has been shaped by your ups and your downs and most importantly it’s yours to live.