Welcome back to crazy little things! I hope everyone is doing ok and if you are not, well that is ok too because you don’t have to be ok all of the time as you are only human. I have recovered from therapy and I am feeling ok, still having moments of flashbacks about the things we discussed and how being vulnerable has left me feeling icky all over. I kind of cocooned myself these last two days, as I just didn’t want to try and interact with the outside world while feeling this vulnerable. Today I left my cocoon and went to the gym and even though I didn’t last long there because I was quite anxious, I did it and that’s the main thing to focus on. I only seem to find it comfortable being vulnerable on here and it is so hard to do the same thing in the real world.
So today I am going to write about the big question we all ask ourselves. This question can bring us to tears, it can even put a smile on our faces. It can give you the best of days and the worst of days and also keep you up at night. This magical question can do all that and what is even more fucking magical about this question is sometimes it is just only one word! Yep, you read it right one word has the power of a thousand words. Can you guess what it is yet?
It is not who, what, when or where. So that leaves…
Why do I feel like this? Why me? Why did that happen? Why am I like this? Why can provoke so much thought and so many feelings because it is the ultimate question, but there is no ultimate answer. Why and the bitch of anxiety and the dark cloud of depression are like the three musketeers. When we get on that why train they jump on board to spice things up.
We may never know why to some of the questions that we ask ourselves, they might not be some great spiritual reason to why things happen, it could just be shit happens.
So why do we spend so much time on why? See it just snuck itself in because it can’t help itself. We are taught from a young age to ask why and most of the time we are given an answer but as we get older we ask why and we rarely get an answer which then creates more whys.
We may never know why and that scares the shit out of most of us, so now I try to just see it as shit happens good shit and bad shit and keep the why for why the fuck not!