Welcome back to crazy little things! I hope everyone is doing ok and if you are not, well that is ok too because you don’t have to be ok all the time as you are only human. This week has certainly ended with an almighty bang. I life decided to throw me a curve ball since I have been having a good run of good days. Today have all the ingredients to bring me to my knees, so many triggers in such a small amount of time. So maybe it was not just one curveball that was thrown at me then, maybe it was more like a whole fucking basket of them. Days like today always make me think have I done something to deserve this? As I felt like I could physically feel the old wounds that have healing on my heart, start to tear back open. I just want fucking peace and life seems to have other plans for me instead.
I know I probably sound full on emo right now but I like I said it has been one of those days, luckily I have not started wearing skinny pink jeans and ironic t-shirts and heavy set eyeliner again. Well not yet.
So the end of this week may have been a fucking mess lets have a look at this week’s good shit and bad shit.
• I stood my ground at work, I let my voice be heard, I am not going to do anything I am uncomfortable with or feel that due to my eye condition is going to put me or others in harm’s way.
• I have been writing my tiny victories list most days to help perk me up when the bitch of anxiety has been on my back.
• I didn’t roll over when the family contacted me today I spoke my peace and left it at that.
• I have managed to do some drawing and painting in my happy place after an upsetting morning today instead of completely self-destructing. Self-care for the win!
•I haven’t been the gym as often I would like this week due to anxiety, I feel weak for letting it win.
• Today was all types of bad shit!
Even though this week had a terrible and upsetting ending to it, it doesn’t mean it overwrites a good shit week though. When bad shit happens it doesn’t mean we are bad it just means that shit happens and what we take away from that bad shit is what we learn from. There is one thing I need to remember to learn from this and that is not to take the bad shit form this week over to next week, I can’t promise that I won’t but I will try, as this emo is not perfect!