Welcome back to crazy little things! I hope everyone is doing ok and if you are not, well that is ok too because you don’t have to be ok all the time as you are only human. So far this week has kind of sucked due to my uveitis and the bitch of anxiety decidIng to jump on board as well but I am getting better at dealing with it. Yes, I have cried, ranted and practically pulled my fucking hair out, I have also taken time off work, done some self-care and spoke to my partner about what I am feeling. Anxiety isn’t fucking easy but it is so easy for it to get out of control and do some destruction in your life but we can find ways of reining that monster in. We sometimes just need to say hey you bitch knock it off.
One of the biggest things that I deal with because of anxiety is comfort eating and it can be a real problem.
Stress, eat and repeat.
I think I have comfort eaten since my early teens, it has had moments where it peeks and moments where it dips throughout my life. I have become emotionally reliant on food to perk me up and to soothe me when I didn’t know what else to do. That is ok sometimes though as food should be enjoyed and never seen as the enemy. The thing is for me though, it would always end up in a vicious cycle. I would eat to feel better and then I feel worse so I would eat some more and then worse again and so on and so on. I think it got worse for me as I got older and moved out of my family home because my food was so restricted and watched, as soon as I moved out there was no one there to do that anymore and I was like fuck it I can now eat what I want.
I know I have got better in recent years but it does still rear its ugly head and when I am low or stressed I get a craving to eat the pain away. It is about finding a balance between enjoying food and comfort eating and it is not so fucking easy when you are emotionally reliant on food.
I am a working progress and right now I can’t say I won’t comfort eat ever again, right now all I can say is, I am trying to get better and I have made some good steps.