Welcome back to crazy little things! I hope everyone is doing ok and if you are not, well that is ok too because you don’t have to be ok all the time as you are only human. I’m back! I have had a few days away camping and also took a few days away from my blog because I felt that I needed to press the mini reset button. I was starting to get to a point where I was not enjoying it anymore and putting too much pressure on myself when there didn’t need to be. So now I am back in my happy place and excited by the ideas I have had for some posts and also excited to share them with you. I really want to start blending some of my art with my blog posts as a lot of my artwork are the emotions that I struggle to put into words. So why not start with this one!
One person’s island.
We all have our coping mechanisms and defense mechanisms, which are usually formed by trauma. Whether the traumatic event was physical, mental or both it will cause a reaction that will then bury itself within a person.
For me, I put myself on an island so no one can hurt me and the island is a place where I’m free but also trapped at the same time. The island may feel safe but it’s lonely. I usually end up at the island when I am being faced with a social situation, I feel that my lack of trust and lack of understanding of unconditional love is what drives me there. I am living in a world where the people around me have chosen not to be around me. They are colleagues, my partner’s friends and family and my the last remaining family members I have contact with. I struggle to see that those people are not stuck with me but generally like me and that fear of rejection puts me on my island. I wish I found it easier to let people in and not panic whenever I am facing a social situation and I honestly don’t know when I will stop going to my island. I feel when I’m there I have control and no one can judge me because I won’t let them come close enough to do that. I wish that one day I won’t feel like a burden to people but someone in which they are thankful to have in their lives. I wish that one day I will build a bridge to my island and not be scared about who is stepping on it.