Welcome back to crazy little things! I hope everyone is doing ok and if you are not, well that is ok too because you don’t have to be ok all the time as you are only human. Here we are Sunday evening and I am heading back to work tomorrow after a lovely week off and honestly, I am just trying not to wish the days away to get to the weekend again. I feel like I have reached a dead end in my career and I am ready to turn around and do something new. I have started to see that my job is bad mental health, even though I love what I do I don’t love the care industry for disabled and vulnerable people as I feel it is quite corrupt and honestly it is getting harder to deal with that fact. One of the reasons I do this blog is the same as why I chose t do the job I do, I want to make a positive influence in this world whether I help 1 person or 1000 people. I have some reflecting to do and some decision making of what my next move is going to be.
On reflection, though this week has mainly been positive and it has given me some well needed time to not just reflect on my job but on my life and what I want out of it and how I need to stop getting in my own way. I have been a victim of circumstances now for so long and I don’t want to be a victim anymore, I want to be a survivor, I want to be a warrior.
So let’s close this week with my good shit and bad shit for the week.
• I had a great time camping in my happy place away from home with my partner, it gave us time to just be with one another as he is not just my partner he is my best friend and he can make me laugh my ass off.
• I did some socialising this weekend and even though I had the usual case of the bitch of anxiety on my back I chose not to listen and enjoy the time with some great people.
• I feel like I am getting my motivation, drive, spark, mojo whatever you want to call it back. I don’t know how to describe it other than a feeling that I think things will be alright I can do this shit that we call life.
• My body confidence is seriously lacking and it is not lonely driving me crazy but my partner as well.
• This week I have come to the conclusion that I am lonely because I don’t let people in and push people away out of fear that they will hurt me. I have got to work on the relationships in my life as I am not alone.
So more good shit this week and that just shows you that even though has been some bad shit this week that doesn’t mean it has to be a bad week.