Welcome back to crazy little things! I hope everyone is doing ok and if you are not, well that is ok too because you don’t have to be ok all the time as you are only human. I physically could shake myself sometimes, honestly, I think it is either down to the green monster that comes out from within or my lack of confidence, but my view on my life is so jaded. Too much wasted time on people who don’t deserve that time and not enough time on the people who do. I am far from fucking perfect but I know that the things that have happened to me is not my fault but it is my choice to stay in the past and let those things haunt my future. My life is not going to be this shiny fail tale, no, it’s a twisted tale full of light and dark. I do feel that I am on the right path to accepting the hand that I got dealt but I still got a long while to go. I lost myself a long time ago and I do believe that part of me is not coming back but that doesn’t mean that the person I am now is who I am stuck with, I believe that one day the future me will be ok whoever I may be.
The battle between good and evil.
I feel that when I am dealing with a manic cycle or a low cycle and even a bad case of anxiety, there is a battle between good and evil that is taking place within. My mind is pulled in every direction and no wonder its so exhaustingly dealing with mental illness. I know I am not alone in thinking like this, and how at times I feel like I am a bad person because if I was so good, then why does bad shit keep happening to me? The thing is mental illness is nothing to do with whether you are good or evil, mental illness does not discriminate.
The path down the dark road is so tempting because it is so easy, yeah fuck everyone and fuck my life who cares. The path down the light road is less tempting because it is not easy as there is no guarantee that the battle will ever end.
The thing is, by just being here fighting and trying to do better and be better means you are a warrior, a warrior who is more than capable of overcoming those demons that haunt you. Don’t let the warped opinion that is presented to the world about mental illness convince you that you are bad, there are many bad things in this world and you are not one of them.