Welcome back to crazy little things! I hope everyone is doing ok and if you are not, well that is ok too because you don’t have to be ok all the time as you are only human. Went to see Avengers Endgame for the second time yesterday and again for the second time, I credit like a fucking baby for the last 45 minutes. Now if there is anyone left on this earth who hasn’t seen the film and they read this blog, spoiler ahead. Even though I knew what was coming it still hit me just as hard as it did the first time watching it. Yes, it was upsetting with black widow dying and Ironman but do you know what really got me in the feels, “Avengers Assemble”. Eurgh, when you hear “on your left” and they all start coming through the portals, honestly it was the happiest tears I have ever cried. There is a reason that I am writing about my emotional reaction to this. That bit hit me for 2 reasons, one being I am a massive Marvel fan I have been waiting for a long time for that moment and secondly because I couldn’t imagine that feeling of knowing what it is like to have so many people willing to fight alongside me. I feel all I seem to do is just lose people along the way in life and it hurts like a mother fucker knowing that so many friends and family just won’t be there for me.
Which brings me to my tip of the day –
It can be a lonely path to get to the top.
There are plenty of times including right this moment where I would kill to have more people in my life who understood me and have my fucking back. I am tired of feeling so isolated from the world and I sometimes feel I will never find my way back. The thing is I know this is my oath I have to follow right now as the only person who can help me is me, maybe I need to learn to trust a little wisely. or to be more open with me. The problem is that there are too many scars on my back from the multiple times I have been stabbed in the back. Some of the most important things we learn in life have the hardest paths. This is a hard lesson to learn that my path is for me to walk down and no one can do it for me but one day it will be worth it.