Welcome back to crazy little things! I hope everyone is doing ok and if you are not, well that is ok too because you don’t have to be ok all the time as you are only human.
This week has been the usual kind of strange recipe that I am coming to terms with that is just how my life is. There has been some conflict, sadness, a little bit of anger, some happiness, a smidge of motivation and a big dollop of anxiety. Maybe things are sent to test us or help us see the lessons in life we are supposed to be learning or maybe if there is someone in charge of us like a God or whatever and they just have a sick sense of humour. Who the fuck knows. Being an over-thinker can be a burden, the simple things are not so simple and the little things turn into big things. I lose sleep over the most stupidest of things at times but this ability of not taking things at face value has given me the type of mind that constantly wants to learn and expand my viewpoint. That is why most things have good and bad shit as nothing is perfect.
So my good shit and bad shit for this week is :
• I have now stuck to a routine with exercising for 2 weeks and even with the occasional anxiety attack, it still hasn’t stopped me.
• I have taken more time this week to do self-care. Monday I couldn’t make it into work as I was physically and mentally exhausted and I recognised that and put myself first.
• I am making steps towards recognising that the most important opinion I have of myself is my own opinion.
• I am still beating myself daily over things that are out of my control, mainly the things that are going on within my family and if I carry on down this path, it is going to fuck me up even more than I already am.
• I cried in front of my boss for the millionth time, I am going to be known as the girl who cries a lot. There is nothing wrong with crying but I hate making myself vulnerable to people who don’t even know me.
• My fucked up perception of love is affecting my relationship because I don’t take things at face value, I put a huge amount of pressure on my partner to constantly show it.
• There have been some opportunities that has crossed my path but I don’t know if it is fear or my damn laziness as I don’t pursue them.
Aw well, bad shit outweighed the good shit this week and that’s ok because there is nothing I can do about it now apart from focusing on the week ahead.