Welcome back to crazy little things! I hope everyone is doing ok and if you are not, well that is ok too because you don’t have to be ok all the time as you are only human. So today was a pretty positive day and I have managed to push myself further a few steps to tackling some issues. I had my phone call today about rearranging therapy and it was also suggested to me to have another psychiatric assessment as well as 1 to 1 therapy. I am just so ready for this, I now feel a new path is starting to open up in front of me. It is not going to be easy, far from it but I can’t go on like this and there is no shame in asking for help. The only downside is the waiting game for an appointment it could be a few months. More than anything today I know now I need someone to speak to from an outsider perspective to help me with these triggers and the difficult situations that I am facing. I just want to be better and I know I can’t do it on my own anymore. I have battled my bipolar and anxiety for so long on my own and yes it has got me this far but the roads are getting harder to face and I don’t want to go backward.
Well, today is world semicolon day and I have a semicolon tattoo on my wrist. I thought I would share why I got this tattoo.
Putting myself back together piece by piece.
I got the tattoo last year and funnily enough, it was right before the problems with my eyes started. It has definitely been a reminder of the strength that I have within me to help me through things and it is not the end of my story. I got it on the wrist that I used to self harm the most and thought what a great thing to look at to remind me during those times where the urge of self-harm presents itself that I don’t need to do that anymore that space is filled with positivity. As it is has been 6 years and counting that I have been self-harm free and it has been a battle that words can not describe how good it feels to be winning.
There have been moments with my struggles with mental illness, including recently, where I thought that I can’t do this anymore and I don’t want to do this anymore. It is so hard to find that light at the end of the tunnel during those times as the world is so dark and then I heard about the semicolon and I knew instantly what I perfect ray of hope.
Most people may not understand the semicolon concept but for people like me, it has been something we can use as a symbol of hope that our story is not over when the dark times hit us. I have had to put myself back together piece by piece due to my battle with mental illness and some pieces of me have gone. So my semicolon tattoo was a new piece to replace that old self-harming piece that I don’t need anymore. i now have something with me all the time that reminds me that I am strong and there is hope and my story is far from over.