Welcome back to crazy little things! I hope everyone is doing ok and if you are not, well that is ok too because you don’t have to be ok all the time as you are only human. Do you ever go through moments where you are just plodding along with your day and then, BOOM, sadness hits. You manage to get over it and carry on with your day but then BOOM, another hit. Sadness is banging at your door getting louder each time with each knock until you finally realize that if you don’t let it in, it is just going to break down the door. So what do you do? Do you hold on and barricade the door and risk it getting through anyway no matter how much you try to keep it out? Or do you give in and open the door willingly and deal with the consequences of its visit. Tough question and honestly there is no right or wrong answer.
With each cycle of depression I go through I am never sure if it will be that cycle that I won’t be able to battle. It’s so fucking tiring to go to battle with mental illness and I am so fucking tired at the moment, there is just too much I can’t deal with. I just want to fucking be, I just want to live my life and not to have to fucking fight for it or deal with some of the shit I have to deal with.
Some people say you are not given the things in life that you can’t handle, erm no I want to call bullshit on that because this is me not fucking handling it.
Ok, rant over with, I think more than anything, I am just angry at myself for letting certain things that are sadly out of my control, get to me and sooner rather then later I need to accept the shit and move on from it.
So today’s tip of the day is –
I don’t run for the bus so I ain’t running after you!
I think most of us have dealt with situations of where we end up chasing after affection or attention from people who just don’t give it. This is the breeding ground for issues like, fear of rejection, feeling unloveable, trusting the wrong people and people pleasing. It is also one of the hardest things to deal with and learn from. As no one wants to accept that the person that they are chasing can’t give them that time that they need. It is also not always the person’s fault of who we are chasing either, they just may not be able to give you want you need or they have their own shit to deal with. We try desperately to be understood by others at times but we should be turning that time and energy that we use to chase others, on ourselves. As we can’t chase love, affection, and understanding from others to fill that void that we are not willing to fill for ourselves.