Welcome back to crazy little things! I hope everyone is doing ok and if you are not, well that is ok too because you don’t have to be ok all the time as you are only human. I returned to work this week and it has already been a rollercoaster and it’s only been two days! No matter how much I thought I was ready mentally and physically for it, I was slightly wrong with that prediction. My eyes get tired and ache after long periods of time due to the Uveitus and add the concoction of medication I’m on and add my anxiety running wild, I was ready to throw in the towel after the first hour. I have come home everyday knackered and good for nothing but sleeping. I am going to push through it though, as it may just take time for me to adapt, I am going to try do a couple of weeks and see if things change and plus I am only back part-time so I get some rest days.
That is the thing with mental illnesses and physical illness, it takes so much more effort to do regular things at times, compared to the average person and the effort and energy it takes to try to just lead a ‘normal” life can be crazy at times. All I can do is try though.
Today’s tip of the day is –
Eat, sleep, anxiety and repeat!
It can feel exhausting dealing with a mental illness or mental health problems, not only caused by the condition but by the medication. It can feel like you are tittering on the edge of functioning and shutting down. Which can lead you to feel utterly frustrated with yourself and with the world, why isn’t it easy for me? You find yourself asking yourself time and time again. Living shouldn’t be this hard, should it? It can constantly feel like you are taking 1 step forward and 2 steps back.
In a weird way it can feel like an episode of Scooby Doo, you know when they are running and they just run pass the same object over and over again. That is what mental illness feels like at times, that you are dealing with the same shit over and over again no matter how much you try to move on from it. Eventually though just like in Scooby Doo, you can move on from it. Even though at the moment it seems to be; eat, sleep, anxiety and repeat for me. That’s just right now, as patterns can change and adapt and sooner or later good days will come and the pattern gets bigger to a point where it won’t look like a pattern no more.