Welcome back to crazy little things! I hope everyone is doing ok and if you are not, well that is ok too because you don’t have to be ok all the time as you are only human. Tomorrow is a big day for me as it will mean I will be back to some sort of routine again. I am returning to work and yes I am excited to be getting back into a routine and having money again but it comes with a price. I am not sure it will work out anyway at where I work for a few reasons. The main ones are, I still have limited eyesight and also, to be honest, I feel like I am returning to hell! In order for this return to work I need my work to support me and respect my limitations and if that is not the case then it is back to being at home.
On another note this week has been hard as there has been some major ups and downs with my mood and I got triggered due to a problem with family. I am trying to find my feet at the moment and I can’t seem to do it, I seem to get close and then miss. There is one thing though, that is getting stronger day by day and that is I can’t wait to get to therapy again and to be getting help. I really feel I don’t know how to solve my issues at the moment and I have tried for so long to do them on my own and sadly it hasn’t worked out.
So lets officially end this week with my bad shit and good shit list!
• Family problems triggered me massively this week and it has completely drained me mentally and left me feeling kind of exposed to get easily triggered again, which leads me to my next one.
• I lost my earphones,this may not seem a big deal to most but to me when it comes to being in a public place they are my safety net, kind of like my armor. This situation caused me to freak out and brought me to tears. I even snapped at my partner, which was a dick move, as he was only trying to help. I overreacted and was easily triggered.
• Comfort eating and binge eating still getting way out of control.
• Been lazy this week, there are plenty of things I could have done around the house but didn’t because I just didn’t want to.
• Did a good amount of writing for my book.
• My boyfriend lent me his headphones for tomorrow.
• The boyfriend and I overcame something that has affected our relationship for a long time and it feels so good to get over that bump in the road.
So this week there has been more bad shit but now looking at the list this week wasn’t as bad as I thought it was, yes I declined mentally a bit but I was triggered by something massive and this week’s good shit is so worth the bad shit that has happened.