Welcome back to crazy little things! I hope everyone is doing ok and if you are not, well that is ok too because you don’t have to be ok all the time as you are only human.
Procrastination is a drug I just can’t quit.
Now I can’t decide whether I lack motivation or my level for procrastination has reached expert level. Like today for instance, it took me 2 hours to empty the dishwasher. Why? Well apparently first I had to find the right music to set the mood which took about 30 minutes of me saying, “Alexa next”. Then I spotted in the corner of my eye the biscuit jar so I decided to take a break before I started and to have a cup of tea and a few biscuits as a pre-victory snack of emptying the dishwasher. Afterward, I still wasn’t quite ready and decided that I wanted to wear my tiara to make me feel special (honestly I wish I was making this shit up but I am not). Finally, I decided to download an app to stop me from procrastinating while I was procrastinating (again no logic to be seen), all I got from the app was to drink more water.
In the end, I did empty the dishwasher but fucking hell I did make a meal out of it.
There is a point to this story I promise, I am not just procrastinating while getting to the point. Many of us who battle mental health problems or illness are amazing at procrastination and unfortunately some people just see it as being lazy plain and simple. That isn’t always the case though. Where I can admit I can be lazy from time to time, as we all can, procrastination can also come from the fear of not doing something right and the lack of motivation to even try.
So how do we stop procrastinating? Does anyone have the answer to that?
If I was honest with myself, most of the time I do it is down to the lack of faith I have in myself and that is where the bitch of anxiety comes along and tells me her wonderful ideas of how to avoid that situation.
▪ I will avoid texting or calling someone back.
▪ Waking up in the morning as the bed is a safe place.
▪ Going out, I am guaranteed to be late to most things because I procrastinate.
▪ Eating, I don’t want to finish first in case someone sees me as a fat pig.
▪ Making any type of decision, avoid like hell!
So I now see my procrastination is an unhealthy coping mechanism for dealing with my anxiety and even though I see it doesn’t mean that I am cured. It means that it’s something I need to take steps to work on and so maybe next time I empty the dishwasher I can cut the time down to 1 hour and 45 minutes instead of 2 hours by not putting on the tiara.