Welcome back to crazy little things! I hope everyone is doing ok and if you are not, well that is ok too because you don’t have to be ok all the time as you are only human. It has been an interesting weekend and I can definitely say that the dark clouds are starting to fade away. Words can’t describe how grateful I am to feel the light break through the clouds again because I haven’t been this worried about myself for a long time. Every time the dark thoughts were getting louder and louder when I was alone and were becoming harder to ignore. The urge to self-harm was deafening and I kind of dug myself in a hole that I saw no way out of. I have started the climb back up though because I can’t stay in that pit, this is not how my story ends.
I know I have started quite deep today but I have had a quite a deep weekend where I have done a lot of thinking and writing and not forgetting smashing up some shit in a rage room. I have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be a victim anymore, I just want to be me and not let my past, my mental illness, my issues define me anymore.
Which leads me to my tip of the day –
It is not a race but a marathon.
Most people get frustrated when something positive doesn’t happen quickly and I am including myself in this. I can be so impatient and even feel cheated when things take time. Is this down to anxiety? The need for control. Is it a character flaw? None of us are perfect. Maybe it is a bit of both. The world we live in now is so fast passed and no wonder we can feel like it is a race to the top, we no longer stop and smell the roses on the way.
Recovery takes time, fighting your demons takes time and dealing with mental illness takes time. Most of the things that weigh heavy on our shoulders didn’t appear overnight, they build up over time so why do we think we lessen the weight faster than it appeared? If we rush our way through we are more likely to trip up and stumble but if we take our time we can climb over the obstacles instead of falling over them.