Welcome back to crazy little things! I hope everyone is doing ok and if you are not, well that is ok too because you don’t have to be ok all the time as you are only human. So firstly I want to let you all know my first episode for my podcast Honest Tea is now available to stream on iTunes and Spotify! After a few days of anxiety and a lot of self-doubts I finally just said fuck it! It is something I have wanted to do it for a while, as it is so out of my comfort zone and now I feel so proud and can’t wait to record another episode.
So today’s blog post is a big step for me to heal from something that I thought I would never do because honestly I didn’t want to let go of the anger but it is destroying me slowly and I don’t want that anymore. One of the hardest things we can do is grieve for people who are still alive. I don’t want to go into too much detail I just want the words to speak for themselves.
A hand to hold…
There was a girl who was reaching out for a hand to hold, a warm gentle touch that would guide her and comfort the girl through the journey that we call life. The hand that came to her didn’t quite fit right in her hand and at times it was so cold to touch that it sent shivers down the girl’s spine. The hand that guided the girl wasn’t gentle but instead would pull and tug at her in different directions. The girl didn’t understand why the hand that held her hand would let go when the girl needed it the most, then the girl realized one day that the hand that came to hold hers was lost.
The girl was angry at the hand, it was supposed to help her and be there for her but instead made her just as lost. So one day the girl stopped holding out her hand and when the hand came she either pushed it away or lashed out.
The girl didn’t want that hand but deep down she knew she needed it because it is the only hand she has ever known. So the girl let the hand hold her hand from time to time but they both pulled and tugged at each other and the only thing it was accomplishing was pain.
Eventually, the girl let go again and decided she had to find her own way and she couldn’t help herself if she was trying to guide them both. This was the hardest thing the girl has ever had to do and there are times she is tempted to hold out her hand again but she questions whether it will be worth the pain, also she is starting to find her way and she doesn’t want to be lost again.
The girl is slowly letting go of her anger as the girl realised she was alot like the hand that came to hold her hand. She needs to heal from this, to forgive, as she knows that one day she will need to be that warm gentle hand that will guide and comfort a small hand along their path.