Being vulnerable is fucking brave!

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Hey everyone,
Welcome back to crazy little things! I hope everyone is doing ok and if you are not, well that is ok too because you don’t have to be ok all the time as you are only human. I’m back again when inspiration strikes well I have to write! Today has been another day being knocked around by this medication and I feel like the sides around me are closing in for me to slide down into a dark depression and plus that bitch of anxiety is knocking rather loudly at my door. It is so hard when physical health problems affect mental health and it is so easy to succumb to the dark thoughts and the utter loneliness. I feel like more than a grumpy cow than I usually am and it is driving me crazy that I can’t pick myself up. All I know is if it weren’t for the fact of my strong self-care routine and my utter stubbornness to not give in I would have been down the slide and play in the black sad pit by now.
It is a funny old thing mental illness, some days you feel utterly helpless to it and other days you argue with it, I guess it is kind of like dealing with a toddler. The temper tantrums, the crying and the sleepless nights.
So my tip of the day is –
Being vulnerable is fucking brave!
I struggle to be vulnerable around other people, sometimes the only time I am is when I have put on a brave face for so long and it all comes flooding out like a big exploding volcano. I want to be strong and brave but we think if we are vulnerable then we are not. How wrong we are! being vulnerable is a brave thing to do, to be able to say no I am not fine instead of smiling and saying you are, takes a huge amount of strength.
I know right now I am struggling but I don’t want to tell my partner because I already know I am being grumpy at the moment. The problem is when you have perfected that fake smile for years it is a hard habit to get out of and plus the bitch of anxiety fills your head with lies about being vulnerable. I will say this though this blog has been a big step for me to show my vulnerable side and be able to get those feelings out is getting easier. A few small steps in the right direction and the odd step backward are better than no steps.

Take care all,
Vixxy Rose
Xxx

2 thoughts on “Being vulnerable is fucking brave!

  1. I love the realness in this post. I completely agree that showing your vulnerable side is a bad ass thing to do. Opening yourself up to others is not an easy thing to do, especially when society still hasn’t quite got there yet in regards to mental health. The worst feeling is when you feel you cannot pick yourself up like you have done a million times before, then the panic starts to creep in as you feel rather trapped in your own emotions to the point where it can be come completely overwhelming and turn into a physical pain in your body. I finally managed to start my own mental health blog today and already reading other peoples posts give me some comfort knowing I am not totally alone on this.

    Much love

    Liked by 1 person

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