Welcome back to crazy little things! I hope everyone is doing ok and if you are not well that is ok too because you don’t have to be ok all the time as you are only human. I can’t decide if I am going through a mid-life crisis at 29 or my eyes are finally opening up to all the bullshit around that is making me so unhappy. Maybe it is a bit of both. This is not an emo moment of me thinking my life is so awful and I am going to start wearing all black to match the colour of my soul and start listening to my chemical romance again. No, I think this is a reaction caused by the good things in my life. I feel they are highlighting the things in my life that I don’t want around me anymore as they are just emotionally fucking me up. I don’t want to live permanently under a dark cloud and only seeing light now and then.
Don’t I deserve better?
Why am I tolerating so much bullshit?
Am I strong enough to make the changes needed?
So much to do and so much to think about, because if I don’t make the changes needed then I am triggering my depression and why the fuck am I going to put myself through that?
Fear that people won’t understand?
Fear of failure?
Fear of maybe I am the problem?
As you can see there is a lot on my mind right now and it is really sending me into a bit of a spin at times, but without my blog to center me, I think I would be more lost.
So let’s move on to my tip of the day –
The old you is gone but the new you is here.
Why do we look for happiness in the same place we lost it? I get more than obsessed at times to find the old me again. The bubbly, outgoing happy person that didn’t feel broken and lost but that was a lie. Because if you think about if that old you was so great then you would still be that person.
How can we leave the past in the past and also try to be the person we used to be? It doesn’t work. The person we are now is the same person, there may be some bruises and scars but it is still you.
Instead of rejecting the person you are now and focusing on the flaws, work on accepting the person you have become, whether you have been through a battle or two the person you have become deserves the love and respect you give the person you were before.
So maybe sometimes we are not lost but waiting for the moment we accept where we are and how far we have come.