Welcome back to crazy little things! I hope everyone is doing ok and if you’re not well that is ok too because you don’t have to be ok all the time as you are only human. Well, this human is feeling ok and I can’t remember the last time I could say that. I felt like I was climbing the tree of life and got struck by lightning from the storm swirling above me and fell and hit every negative branch on the way down. Now I am starting to feel the strength growing within to be able to push my fear aside and start climbing again. I am still scared that I am going to slip again but do I stay down beaten and bruised or do I get up and look up to the storm and above and say is that all you got! I was raised in a thunderstorm and look how far I have come already and no bitch of anxiety and dark cloud of depression is going to stop me from getting to where I want to be. They may cause me to stumble and fall but they will not and I repeat they will not stop me from getting back up.
There is still a lot of things I need to face and a lot of decisions to make but I am hopeful again and like I said before you can’t spell hopeless without hope! The hope was always there I just I don’t know maybe lost it or forgot where I put it!. Which I do a lot and not just with hope I have a very strange habit of losing things and finding them in the fridge, my phone, keys, books, and even purse end up in the fridge somehow so maybe that is where my hope was hiding! Maybe next time I lose it I will check the fridge first.
So let’s move on to my tip of the day –
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me!
How many chances do you give people? One of the things I am learning to face and deal with is I have massive abandonment issues which has allowed some very toxic people treat me poorly. There has to come a point when you are trying to build bridges on the ashes of the bridges that were burnt down before that you have to fucking stop and say fuck this.
Kindness is not a weakness but unfortunately there are people out there who will abuse that kindness. I now starting to look at things very differently and ask myself, if it is not good for my mental health then why try to hold on to it?
Do I believe blood is thicker than water? No.
Do I believe that you should sacrifice your mental health for a relationship? No.
The problem is that we can be fooled by words of humility but it is the actions rather than the words we should be paying attention to and if the actions don’t match the words then that’s where it comes down to “fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me”