Welcome back to crazy little things! I hope everyone is doing ok and if you’re not well that is ok too because you don’t have to be ok all the time as you are only human. Your favorite moaner is back already! I figured out even when I am feeling positive I still moan, so maybe that can be a new personality type since we have funny, happy, grumpy and now moany. Hmm, maybe I have just come up with a new dwarf for Snow White.
Anyway, I try not to count down till the weekend but this weekend I am counting the seconds, I feel completely disconnected from work, I know that is not helped with me having to keep taking days off because of the inflammation in my eyes but it is not just this that is making me feel disconnected. There are other things that I won’t get into today as it has a lot to do with the care industry and once I get on that train there is no getting off.
Now I feel I am at a crossroad for every big part of my life!
• Work – new career or stay in something that I have outgrown but it is stable work?
• Family – Do I burn bridges or do rebuild?
• Love – Are we ready to start our own family or not?
• Mental health – do I carry on looking at different ways to deal with my mental illness or go back to therapy and back on medication?
Told you! Lots of decisions – and if you read my last post I don’t do well with decisions at all! There is one thing that I have decided. I know shock horror! My social life is nowhere to be seen – like honestly – I have looked for it and I can’t find it. I miss hanging with friends, I hate feeling so isolated now. I am the one who needs to make this change happen, as I push people away. Now its time to pull them back, because I have been an asshole.
So my tip of the day is –
It takes a big person to admit they’re an asshole!
You heard me right I have been an asshole. Do you ever have those moments that the bitch of anxiety loves; “I wish I didn’t do that” flashbacks. We can’t rewind time and no matter what we will make mistakes. Sometimes we need to climb out of our head and see those moments for what they truly are, which is learning points. The thing is if we keep letting anxiety rule this part of human nature then how can we thrive?
I always say this, it won’t happen overnight and it is hard not to let the bitch of anxiety chime in when it comes to mistakes we make. Even now the bitch of anxiety is in my ear saying I am sounding like a real condescending asshole.
It is all about owning it and how can we learn to love ourselves if we don’t accept the good and bad parts. Once we can start accepting the only thing we can do from mistakes is learn from them, then that really is a great way of telling anxiety to fuck off!