Hope everyone is feeling ok and if you’re not, well that is ok too as you’re only human. So the storm is still clearing and the light is breaking through the clouds every now and then, my mood is feeling lighter even though there is still a bit of light rain in the air. This is the thing with bipolar, a cycle can feel like it lasts longer than what it does because the recovery process is usually quite slow. Even though I know the storm is over, I still feel a little heavy-hearted but that might also be down to the bitch of anxiety and mother nature joining forces to turn me into she-hulk for next few days if you know what I mean. Just in time for camping on Tuesday, lucky me! I am so glad I have 2 weeks off from work though and I was very honest with work, I told them I was burnt out and I needed some time to focus on my mental health and physical health. The response was amazing and they thanked me for being so honest. Sometimes taking risks work out and I know not every job will do that but that is why it is called a risk and for my mental health I had to take that risk.
So this week I have been focusing on me, myself and I. As I stated in my first post of who the fuck am I? We can lose who we are in our mental illness and that’s a horrible feeling to have of not recognizing who you are.
Who the fuck am I? Part 3…
I am fucking hilarious! No, I am deadly serious I honestly do think I am funny. I would say my sense of humor is quite dry and sarcastic, most people might say it is a typical English type of sense of humor. Yes before you ask I do laugh at my own jokes and what is wrong with that!
I know my sense of humor is something I inherited from my dad but that did come with some bad habits attached. I will use humor a lot to deflect an emotional situation. My role in a circle of friends always seems to be the funny one, the girl who can make people laugh and that got me friend zoned a lot with boys when I was younger, they didn’t want to be in a relationship with the chubby funny girl, just friends! So when guys did get interested I really didn’t know how to deal with it.
My humor came part of my shield, I am first to make a joke about myself so I don’t have to hear it from someone else, kind of beat them to the punch situation. But being the clown can be a double edged sword, as people start to think; well she won’t have a problem if I poke fun a bit as she can take a joke. Nope sorry I am one sensitive clown.
Yes, it is a good thing to have a sense of humor and to be able to see the funny side of life, it can also lead down a very slippery slope and hiding behind your humor and not facing things head on.
Take care all