Hope everyone is feeling ok and if you’re not, well that is ok too as you’re only human. So it looks the low mood cycle storm is clearing and just in time for camping next week. I can for the light shining through the clouds casting my face with such a happy glow. I made it through another storm to see the sunrise, but I cannot take all the credit because the support from the community on here and on my social media has been fucking amazing. I have had some real fucking awful lows these past few weeks and to have people reach out to support me, to help me back up when I have been knocked down has left a massive imprint on my heart I will never ever forget, thank you. Wow, even thinking about it has made me emotional and I think that is because I had lost hope in humanity a while ago and it has only been this past year I have been able to reopen my heart again to others and to bring back that hope again. So it is true when they say a little kindness can go a long way. I am not alone anymore and words cannot describe how amazing that feels. My heart has taken a lot of damage over the years and now I feel like it is finally starting to heal.
Ok, now I feel like I am emotional rambling but I just can’t help it! So like I said in my last blog post I am doing a bit of a theme of a theme right now and that is who the fuck am I? In my last post, I talked about my bitchy side and how that side is good and bad. Now, are you ready for part 2!
Who the fuck am I?
There is one thing that I am called by nearly everyone in my life and that is stubborn! I am one of those people who if you were showing me how to do something that would take less time and make it easier on me I would be too stubborn to do it that way. I also can really hold on to a fucking grudge. Again being stubborn is a good and bad quality to have. Being stubborn can mean no matter how low I feel and no matter how much anxiety is telling me I am going to fail my stubbornness will push me forward and tell anxiety to fuck itself you don’t control me. I can be so determined when I am stubborn and it has made me achieve a lot of things.
On the other hand, it has caused me to hold on to grudges, which has given me such a heavy heart at times. Being stubborn has also caused me to lie and be set in my ways because I have been too stubborn to ask for guidance or help in the past.
Being stubborn is like flipping a coin to make a decision at times and sometimes the coin toss doesn’t always end up in my favor. I can’t just turn it off unfortunately but I can learn to admit when I am wrong when being stubborn wasn’t the best way to go.
Take care all