When your mind has too many fucking tabs open…

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Hey everyone,

Hope everyone is feeling ok and if you’re not, well that is ok too as you’re only human. Today was a good day and I have been pretty good most of this week and what I was unaware of was the bitch of anxiety was hiding around the corner, tonight I have had a massive anxiety attack this is why this blog post is later than planned. I have had a massive anxiety attack this evening triggered by something so small to the outside world but to me, it wasn’t. The thoughts of self-harm and despair and hopelessness have soon washed away the feelings of hope and joy.
FUCK!!!!! I really don’t want to do battle with the bitch of anxiety I am so tired and I really don’t like my mind right now. What is wrong with me why can’t I just function for just one day?
I am tired of dealing with anxiety and I am tired of moaning about it I feel like a broken record that just keeps playing the same song over and over again. I want a new song I want a song that will make me dance like no one is watching, is that too much to ask?

So my tip of the day is – When your mind has too many fucking tabs open…

What I write is not pretty but it is always pure, it comes from my raw feelings and I have to do it this way becaUse I want to put across my journey with mental health as accurate as possible.

I know I am vulnerable right now and have started slipping down that slope towards a depression cycle and it scares the shit out of me but I won’t go down without a fight I will dig my heels in and hold on tight. That bitch of anxiety has texted her good friend depression to pop on over for a visit without my permission, told you she was a bitch. It feels like my mind has too many tabs open and I am trying to think about all things at once and when I think I have closed a tab anxiety opens another, no I don’t want to look at things I can’t afford anxiety and I definitely don’t want to look at videos of my top 10 embarrassing moments. Anxiety likes to prey on you when you feel you have lost control of a situation no matter how small it may be.
I know I am not the only one out there dealing with this right now so that is why I urge you to hold on tight please I know it hurts and I know you are tired I am too, but the stars are still there behind the dark cloud you will see them again.
Put your self-care into action get your mental health toolbox out and fucking show those demons who is boss.

We all fall down
We live somehow
We learn what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger

 Sharp edges – Linkin Park

Take care all

Vixxy rose
Xxx

2 thoughts on “When your mind has too many fucking tabs open…

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