Will I lose my dignity, will someone care…


Hey everyone,

Hope everyone is feeling ok and if you’re not, well that is ok too as you’re only human. It is nearly Friday and that bitch of anxiety still won’t let go, she really is an interfering cow. I have practically come home every day this week just so exhausted from work and battling the bitch. It doesn’t help having my sleep disturbed again last night by this overwhelming anxiety attack, come on I am asleep let me be for a few hours.
Ah well, will fight another day, because I am stubborn as hell and I hate to lose, as this is my life and I be damned if I give up now. I have come too far in this battle with my mental health and can’t turn back now.

Before you read the next part of this blog post I just want to reassure you all that I am ok, I am not going through a depression cycle, I felt like I needed to let my emotions run freely tonight…

My tip of the day is – Face your fears.

If you follow me on social media you may know that tonight I felt I had a bit of a loss with the battle of anxiety today. So I decide to come home get comfy and have a good cry just let the emotions out while watching one of my favourite musicals, Rent. A quarter of the way through the film the song that was sung just unleashed the tears, I sobbed my heart out because I felt the lyrics spoke to my soul.
“Will I lose my dignity, will someone care, will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare.”
In the musical, some of the characters are at a support meeting for people battling HIV and a guy starts singing about what he is scared of. So after my tears had subsided, I got my notebook out and wrote my fears so I could face up to them.

My fears

• Bipolar scares me.
• I don’t want to be another figure in the ever-growing victims’ list of people who have lost their life due to their mental health.
• I fear I will never be accepted for me.
• Is the girl gone who just lived?
• I don’t want to be lost anymore.
• I am not strong enough.
• Will everyone end up walking away from me?
• Will I ever just be content?
• Anxiety will always rule my life.
• I am not loveable.
• I am going to start cutting again.

These are my fears, my battle, my baggage, however you want to put it, this is my fight every day. What fears do you face and how do you find it best to face them so you are no longer feared by them? Please feel free to comment below lets help each other with our fears.

Take care all

Vixxy rose

6 thoughts on “Will I lose my dignity, will someone care…

  1. I always worry, and have fears, about fitting in, and if I will ever have my own support network made up of friends, and family. One of the biggest ways I face my fears is music. Specifically Eminem. A blast of that gets me motivated.

    Liked by 1 person

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