Here we are, nearly at the end of another working week and what an interesting week it has been for me. Sleepless nights, anxiety, magic, happiness, self-loathing and turmoil, these are some of the themes of this week that have taken place in my crazy little mind. No wonder I can feel so mentally exhausted at times that’s a fucking lot of feelings for one person to deal with, thanks again bipolar.
I set myself a task at the start of the week, which was to start walking with my head held high, which is harder than it seems. Whenever I am out in public it is just automatic for me to just tuck my head down and try to make myself as small as possible, but why do I do this?
• Lack of confidence?
• Limited social skills?
• Fear of the world around me?
Well, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out it is all of the above. It wasn’t like I was going to set this task and wake up the next day and be able to walk around greeting every person with a handshake that passed me with a painted on smile and eye contact. All I want is to just see the world around me, not be the local creep. I don’t want kids walking past my house whispering, that’s where the crazy hand shaking lives, legend has it if you look into her eyes when she shakes your hand your fingers will fall off! (Wow I have an active imagination)
My tip of the day is –
Don’t run before you can walk!
We all have things we want to overcome so we can give ourselves a self-high-five and move onto the next issue. Isn’t that exhausting though trying to solve one issue after another that’s not living, that’s just fucking work! So give yourself a break every now and then to just be you, no changes or improvements just enjoy the achievement you have just made.
It may take me months to achieve walking with my head held high and I am not rushing it, fuck the pile of issues in the corner they will just have to wait for when I am ready to deal with them. As we are just adding to the stress and the worry when we rush our recovery, how about buying a book after you feel liked you have dealt with an issue use that reading time as a break away from the pressure to fix yourself.
Don’t worry, be happy
In every life, we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Take care all