I hope everyone is doing ok and if you are not remember that is ok not to be ok. Well isn’t this lovely being at the bottom of a dark pit looking up at the storm crackling away above me. As the rain is splashing on my face and the thunder is booming in my ears I think to myself is that all you’ve got?
I don’t feel like I slid into this pit of depression, I feel like I was pushed by a bombshell that was revealed to me, I can’t discuss what it was with anyone, which is even more frustrating. Things like this eat me alive when I feel I can’t even put my feelings across about it, but it is not my news to share and I have to process this the best I can with the tools from my mental health toolbox.
Even though I can’t discuss this, I did think of a way of describing how I was feeling and this is what I came up with.
Don’t touch my cake!
Imagine your favourite cake in the whole world is in the middle of you and your friends and one by one your friends take a piece reassuring you the final piece is for you. As time goes on you get closer and closer to that piece of cake and just as you feel you are about to reach out for that piece of cake someone snatches it away from you for themselves and just leaving me with crumbs.
Well you know what I will get over this and I will get out of this pit of depression and dust myself off, when I do, I will make my own fucking cake and keep it for myself and it will be the best cake in the world because I would have made it all on own. My blood sweat and tears will go into baking this cake, plus home-made cake is always better. This is not bitterness, maybe a bit of jealousy as I’m big enough to admit to that but when that day comes – and it will, I will get my cake and no one will take that away from me and I will enjoy every last bite.
I know this post probably won’t make a lot of sense to people but it does to me. Have you ever felt like a dream or wish was taken away from you? Well, maybe it was taken away from you or maybe you just needed to be a bit more patient. Well patience is a great quality to have, but another great quality is determination, so make that dream or wish happen let no one get in your way.
Take care all