How is everyone doing? I hope you all are feeling ok and if you are not remember it is ok not to be ok. Am I ok? I really don’t know, like I said yesterday I am in the middle of the storm. I do feel the bitch of anxiety waking up from her nap, lucky me!
I am focusing on trying to not let my mind get away with me, which is harder than it seems. I am also trying to stop myself from beating myself up over the fact I am in such a low place. With the usual questions going through my mind.How did I get to this point? Why am I so weak? When will it fucking end? Well on that notes…
Blogmas day 18! I really do have so much appreciation now for people who post daily. It is been a challenge to keep myself motivated especially since hitting this low cycle. So I am so proud of myself for ignoring these negative thoughts and fighting through the negative fog. Anyway let’s try and sprinkle some positivity into this blog, or not…
Blogmas Day 19 – My Christmas Cry
I have told a few people in my life about this and mostly been looked at like I have finally lost all my marbles. I have probably been doing this now about 7 years now. Christmas can be emotional at the best of times but add that with mental illness then it can be an emotional whirlwind. I started this tradition not long after my Nan passed. I was finding myself getting so upset around Christmas due to how much I missed her, as a lot of my Christmas memories had a lot to do with her. As the years went on and more things started being added to my list to cry about around Christmas, I needed an outlet.
So one Christmas, I decided to watch something that made me cry just to let out all the emotion in one go. Now 7 years on and I still do this and it really helps, I feel such relief and I know sometimes it is not that I am watching something sad that makes me cry, it is just the fact it is my Christmas cry.
I watch an English TV show called The Royal Family Christmas special – queen of Sheba. This is a guarantee to start the waterworks. Why do I think this is a good idea? We pent-up so much over the holidays, so why make you a ticking time bomb? Just let it out have a Christmas cry. Just spend an hour with your self a few days before Christmas and watch something or listen to something to let out those emotions.
Until tomorrow people!
Take care all