So things have been rather busy with my job, so I haven’t posted as much or used my social media as much as I used to. I have decided to give myself a kick up the bum and going to start planning my blogs more and being more organized. I have a planner but I mainly use when I have ideas for blogs and write them down.
These last few days has definitely had its ups and downs, I feel now I have a job that I don’t dread about going to and it’s something I have wanted to do for a long time has really helped settle my moods. Unfortunately, though my anxiety has been a lot harder to control. I feel like I am like a seesaw when one goes up the other goes down. I get so frustrated with myself, I try to open up to people about it, then I feel better, then I over think about telling them and then open up again, so around and around I go.
Ahhhh I get it now my mind is like a playground, with the seesaw moods, the vicious cycle merry-go-round, and the swing of shame, coming soon the slide of emotion. I think it is time I stop going to the playground.
This leads me to my tip of the day…….. IT’S OK NOT BEING OK!
We can be our own worse critic, we condemn ourselves over the smallest things. We just want to be better, but we can’t jump from 0 to 100 in one leap. So it is ok to go through the steps even if 12 is good and 67 is bad because each step we are learning and improving. I know I beat myself up all the time for letting people see I am not ok because I don’t want them thinking less of me. Good days and bad days are going to happen, and how do you expect people to be ok with your mental illness if you are not.
Over the weekend I had an anxiety attack before I went to a party with my friends, but I didn’t just paint on a smile and pretend everything is ok when I got there. I told them what happened so I had no pressure to act differently to what I was feeling, and after a while there I felt better. I am not going to lie the day after I had massive anxiety about opening up and being honest like that but I am still glad I did it, as it is ok not being ok.
Take care all,