I wasn’t sure if I was going to write this or put it off another day. Sadly I have had some horrible news and it’s completely squashed my faith in life to be completely honest. I ask myself the same question most days, kind of a coping mechanism, why do I keep fighting? Each day it is the same answer……. Hope! I have hope when I am having bad days when the dark cloud of depression and the diva of anxiety are ruling my life, I have hope it’s going to get better. I have hope during the good days that there will be more like them. But today it felt different.
I woke up and it was a good and I even thought about maybe not taking my medication, but sadly that was squashed. I received some bad news and within seconds my world was turned upside down. All day I have just felt overwhelmed with emotions, it was starting to feel claustrophobic inside my head. I had to push aside my pain and fear and heartache to be strong for the people who needed me, they needed and still need my strength. I won’t go into the detail of what happened, as it’s not my story to tell.
All I can think of though is why? Why the hell does life just keep throwing stuff at us, seriously why can’t life just let us be? Are peace and calm too much to ask for, because that’s all I want? I don’t want lots of money and things and fame I just want calm. The only thing I can say and do is move forward and learn to see hope again.
So my tip of the day is…… Honesty.
Being honest with you is so important; to me it’s was the first step I took to get help for my mental state. I had to be honest with myself that there was something really wrong and I couldn’t carry on the way I was going. Also, I have to be honest with myself on a daily basis, knowing the signs of when things are on top of me and not just faking my way through life. Learning to trust my own mind no matter had scary it can be.
It’s also important, to be honest to the people around you. Let them know you are struggling, as the saying goes “a problem shared is a problem halved”. Yes sadly some people won’t understand and you may lose them but at least you will learn who is in your corner. Another way of being honest is to let people know when something makes you uncomfortable. For instance, say it is a situation like a friend get together that sets off your anxiety tell your friends, plans can be changed. Or if you go and make friends aware how your anxiety is making the situation a bit daunting so they can help if you need it. Remember you’re not alone and not a chore for your friends they would want to help you.
I wish I could write more, but like I said I’m just struggling but I am trying to use my pain for good and I hope I have helped someone. I will leave you with this though.
A tarot reader once said to me, some of us are handed a few bad cards in life for a reason and that is so we can understand pain and heartache to help other people with theirs.