I thought I would do something similar to my first blog, a story. A story from my past where anxiety and depression affected my day-to-day life, but I cannot look back on it now with humor. Instead, this story is about the time I beat a bully literally!
So let me set the background, I was in my final year at school, I was 16 and I guess I would be classed as a geek. By this time in my school history I now had friends, but sadly these friends wouldn’t stick up for me against the bullies. Bet you’re thinking, “well they weren’t your friends then Vicky”, but they were it was just they didn’t want to get involved, didn’t want to put a target on their back.
Also, these friends used to pick on me (another story for another time), so I guess apart them I didn’t blame those people for picking on me.
I learned from an early age not to follow the crowd, be your own person. That’s when It did not matter what the bullies said or did. I wore what I wore (some seriously bad fashion choices). I listened to angry rock music because I was an angry girl. I was going to school in a war zone and going back to one at home! Wouldn’t you be angry??
Well if you haven’t of guessed it I was an emo kid and I was emo and proud. Even though I was bullied I guess I was comfortable in my own skin, I didn’t try once to change myself – to fit in.
There was one thing I couldn’t do though and that fought back. I never retaliated with the name-calling or the pushing or threw stuff back at them. I would get too anxious to. During this time I was going through so much I was self-harming and alone I felt like no one cared. I went to the teachers and they didn’t help they just isolated me from my classes. No one cared or noticed the pain I was in, I was falling deeper and deeper into depression and I couldn’t find a way back. They took something from me and that was my love for learning I no longer cared about getting my work done I was way too anxious about being there, I just wanted to get through the day.
There was one day though. A day where I had my moment, I finally had enough and I snapped. I had finally come clean to my parents that I was being bullied and they actually gave me advice; “don’t hit first, hit second”. My mom sent me to school for weeks wearing trousers and my hair up just in case it came to a point I needed to fight. Oh and that day came.
So one day my mom picked me up from school and we drove past one of the girls who bullied me at the bus stop. My mom immediately stopped the car and got out to confront her. I of course was mortified “omg my Mom is now fighting my battles” “this is going to make it worse” “I wish I knew how to drive and get out of here.” I was very much happy to curl up in the seat and act like I was invisible until I heard this girl call my mom a bitch…. Oh no, you can pick on me that’s one thing but to call my mom names! That’s different! It was like in the movies when someone sees red, I felt the anger and the pain take over and I burst out the car and straight at them and she hit me! Just what I needed she hit first – so I hit back.
Then we fought. Not like the movies there wasn’t a winner I didn’t kick her and she never kicked me. My mom allowed it for 5 minutes and broke it up and took me home. Considering this girl was the big “I am”, she called the police on for me for assault. By the time I got home police had been to my house looking for my Mom and me. To cut a long story short, the police found out all the facts at school after I gave my statement and no charges were brought up against me. She was cautioned and the school was reprimanded for not taking any action.
So the outcome of this; I was able to go back to school with my head held high, no more bullying and I guess respect. Also, they realized I was not just a push over, I was capable of fighting back. I don’t condone violence but in that case, it was needed I tried everything else, I tried doing things the right way and no one listened to me. The damage was done though. I never got back my joy for learning and my trust in people was damaged even more, not just because of the bullying but because the people who were supposed to care and protect me, didn’t. I have had to learn to trust people again and have just started an online course because I know I wouldn’t be able to handle a college. But I am stronger because of it. I am still here and I will never let the bullies in this world win.